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Q-15: Bhante, my son told me that the fruits in the refrigerator are for me. He asked me to take them when I want to.  Later I took the fruits without informing him. Is this an act of stealing?

Respectfully,

N. C. Irene

A-15: Dear Irene,

No. It is not an act of stealing as your son had already given you permission verbally. The act of being able to eat as and when you want   terminates only when he says that he would not give any more fruits to you.

Sharing and taking of things from people who are close to you should not be considered an act of stealing as long as the other party has given his blessing or permission, let alone between mother and son.

If one is very close to a relative or friend, one can even take things without permission when they are not around as we all know you will be informing them of what you had done later. It is called vissasagghana in Pali. However, one must have the intention: “I’ll let the owner know later.” So taking the fruits in this instance is definitely not an act of stealing.

Here is a case for us to ponder. Suppose, Mr A tells Mr B verbally that he wants to give him something. Mr B pretends to reject the offer and says: “No, thank you.” However, Mr B takes what Mr A has given to him when Mr A was not around. This is an act of stealing.

With Metta,

U Cittara

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Dhamma Questions are answered by Bhante U Cittara, resident monk of Mangala Vihara, and his assistant monks. Questions and comments on given answers are welcome. Send your questions and comments to resident_monk@mangalavihara.org.sg.